"Unmatched skill and infinite beauty, annihilated by a pork chop."
"Fortunately, Mrs. Thatcher is not the only woman in England."
"Scorpions are everywhere in Mexico (including, it turns out, my kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom) and they range in size from about the length of a cigarette filter to that of a very manly cigar."
"A British hen is expected to produce approximately 50 pence of profit over her entire lifetime."
"Imagine calling Clint Eastwood “Clinton” or Chuck Norris “Charles.” Their diminutives evoke steely eyes and supressed rage, but their full Christian names are inappropriate, evoking a lesser sort of man with a day job and unfashionable eyewear."
"Whole sociological portraits can be drawn with the spell-check; it is a short time now before it gets touted as the new new art."
"First it was my shoes. I could not of course connect the shoes to criminal intelligence operations, but it was odd that anyone would steal a pair of size 15 Nikes. Not many people in Prague can wear a size 15 Nike unless they put both feet inside."
"On a recent excursion in London I took a couple of paragraphs penned by Henry James 117 years ago."